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Maria d'Blakc [DONE]

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Post by Sin Wed Dec 03, 2014 8:43 pm

Wip


Last edited by Sin on Wed Dec 03, 2014 9:32 pm; edited 1 time in total
Sin
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Posts : 3
Join date : 2014-12-03

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Post by Axel The Bunny Wed Dec 03, 2014 9:24 pm

First off this RP is based more along the lines of Scifi, we don't have an underworld and I don't want to have any debatable powers in play. So no on the necromancy power thing.

History is way too short, this is their entire history please add more. This is your character's entire life up to this point, while im not looking for an essay it needs to give me a grasp of who they are and their general background.

musically gifted, artistic, a good athlete, and rich? sorry but this sounds far too Mary Sue for me, please keep the character within the realms of realism. Also having her as a friendly calm person who is hardworking.

"physically and mentally better than normal humans" that's just racist xP and besides we have plenty of idiotic characters. I'm gonna have to ask you to redo the app.
Axel The Bunny
Axel The Bunny
Psychotic Bunny
Psychotic Bunny

Posts : 137
Join date : 2014-07-30

Main Character Sheet
Main Esper: Axel Stone
Wisp Class: Matter
Academy Rank: Advanced

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Post by Sin Wed Dec 03, 2014 9:40 pm

What if i add abused to her app? She's not perfect nor what she intended to be. Perhaps i should have added 'average' instead of normal? And how is that "racist"? Im human and cant see how thats considered racist. Not in its proper use at least Razz
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Post by GeneralArin Wed Dec 03, 2014 9:50 pm

Okay, well I missed the initial app, but I think what Ax was hinting at was that you're good at a lot of things, and there wasn't many character flaws. A "Mary Sue" is a generally unbelievable character, usually being overloaded with positive (or negitive) features to a point where the suspension of disbelief is just broken. 
In that case, adding abuse to your history won't fix the issue, but would most likely just make it worse. 
To fix a Mary Sue is to just add character features and balance things out. While you can be better at some things than other people, there should be a character flaw that makes up for it. (Usually a personality flaw, like stubbornness, arrogance or something like that.)

You can make a fairly generic history just with home life and family relations before, how you got to the academy, then what you did while there (if you're experienced).

And I'm pretty sure Ax was joking there.
GeneralArin
GeneralArin
Snarkerer
Snarkerer

Posts : 105
Join date : 2014-07-29
Age : 29
Location : 'Murica(EST)

Main Character Sheet
Main Esper: Jake Luvolk
Wisp Class: Beast
Academy Rank: Beginner

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Post by Sin Wed Dec 03, 2014 9:56 pm

What are word minimums for each? I didnt see any in the app tenplate. Also, maybe add like 'dislike/fears, and strengths/likes' to the app to avoid things like this? It's just a suggestion but it helps .-.


Btw, i own a few forums so i know the 'mary sues.' Razz
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Post by GeneralArin Wed Dec 03, 2014 10:09 pm

lol well I think it's more of a sentence minimum than word minimum, and if they asked you to add more, then it's more because the content was lacking. I think it was 8 sentences, but if we didn't specify, then it's a content check. 
Tell about your home life, relationships with family members, and how and approximately when you met your wisp. Then when you came to the academy. 

Keep in mind that a wisp is a separate being that bonded to you, and it has its own personality and quirks. 

Personally, I prefer not to spell things out to that level because usually I get things that don't really effect the character like: "hates cherries and clowns" which doesn't really add much other than flavor. Then sometimes there isn't anything notable enough to add it, and it might just come up as you get used to a new character. 

Really, I don't mind you being good at a lot of things, so long as it feels balanced. It doesn't need to have a perfect one to one ratio, but just including negative qualities helps out.  For example my main character, Jake, is good at a lot of things and has pretty strong powers. However, he's also lazy, stubborn, and a general dork who jokes around too much.
GeneralArin
GeneralArin
Snarkerer
Snarkerer

Posts : 105
Join date : 2014-07-29
Age : 29
Location : 'Murica(EST)

Main Character Sheet
Main Esper: Jake Luvolk
Wisp Class: Beast
Academy Rank: Beginner

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